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A: Listen, my wife wants someone presentable and polite. You'll be the fifth candidate she sees this week. Your resume's quite impressive. Sixteen years of military experience, extensive counterterrorism work. I'm surprised anybody could afford you. What's the catch?
B: I drink.
A: How does that affect you?
B: Well. Coordination, reaction time. If top professionals try to kidnap your daughter, I'll do the best I can, but the service will be on par with the pay.
A: No one is to know about your drinking. That includes my wife.
A: My wife, Lisa. And this is John Creasy.
C: You're an American.
B: So are you.
A: It's all in there.
C: Would you like a drink?
B: Yes, uh, Jack and water would be good.
C: Have you done much of this kind of work before?
B: No, ma'ma.
A: But he has a lot of experience in related fields.
C: You have a family, Mr. Creasy?
B: No.
C: Pita. Pita.
D: Yes, mom?
B: Thank you.
C: Honey, this is, uh, Mr. Creasy.
D: (...)
C: In English, honey. Um, do you wanna show Mr. Creasy to his room?
D: This way, Mr. Creasy.
B: Okay.
A: Just like that?
C: I think it's nice that he's an American.
D: We fixed the room up two weeks ago. It's nicer than before. You've got a TV and C.D. player. What kind of music do you like, Mr. Creasy?
B: I don't know.
D: You don't know?
B: I don't know.
D: That's bird. Emilio forgot to take him when he left. Emilio was my last bodyguard. Have you protected a lot of children before, Mr. Creasy?
B: Creasy. You can call me Creasy. And no, you're the first.
D: Creasy. Bye, Creasy.
B: So long.
C: School tomorrow, peeps.
D: Does that mean we can get a dog? Dad promised me one when I went back to school. 
C: Yeah, we'll see. If you get a dog, will you give up your bear? You 're getting too old for him. How'd you like Mr. Creasy?
D: Creasy. He said to call him just Creasy.
C: Uh-huh.
D: That isn't disrespectful, is it?
C: No, not if he asked you. Here. There you go.
D: He's like a bear too.
C: Yeah?
D: A big, sad bear.
C: Is he sad?
D: I think. Or something.
C: Good night, honey.
D: Night. Oh, can you get me some floss in the morning?
C: Floss?
D: Yeah, the strawberry kind.
C: Oh, sure.
B: That's right. That's right. Come on. All right. Home to Emilio. You're home free, baby.
D: Where are you from, Creasy?
B: The U.S.
D: I know, but which state?
B: No state in particular.
D: You can drive and talk at the same time.
B: No, I can't, Pita, so please, let me just do my job.
D: Are you going to stay? My last bodyguard left. Somebody gave him more money than we could.
B: I guess that makes me a bargain then, huh? 
D: Being black is that a positive or negative for a bodyguard in Mexico?
B: Time will tell.
D: There were 24 kidnapping in Mexico City in the last six days. Four a day.
B: Yeah? 24?
D: 24. What do you think about that, Creasy? 
B: I think that you know entirely more than you should.
D: Well, thank you. When you were a kid, Creasy, did you like school?
B: I don't remember.
D: You don't remember?
B: No, I don't remember. It, uh, nah, I didn't like it.
D: Why not?
B: Because it wasn't a school like yours.
D: Were you unhappy?
B: Being unhappy, Pita, that's a state of mind. I really don't remember.
D: What happened to your hand?
B: It's a birth defect.
D: No, it's not.
B: Look, no more questions, okay?
C: Mr. Creasy. I just wanted to make sure you have everything you need.
B: I'm fine, thanks.
C: Is the food all right? 'Cause, uh, Maria told me you didn't eat.
B: Uh, yeah, the food is great. I just wasn't that hungry tonight.
C: So you, uh, read the Bible?
B: Yeah, sometimes.
C: Does it help?
B: Yeah, sometimes.
C: Can I talk to you for a minute?
B: Sure.
C: How are you doing with Pita?
B: Fine. Fine. Soon as she figures out I'm not her new toy, we'll be fine.
C: Yeah, she told me about that.
B: Okay.
C: You don't have children, do you?
B: I told you I didn't.
C: Well, they can be tenacious when they want something. And Pita just wants to be friends.
B: Okay. But you're paying me to protect her, right? Not to be her friend. Right? So, uh, look, maybe this isn't gonna work out. Maybe your husband should find somebody who's a little more sociable.
C: You're being paid to protect her and I'm confident that you'll do that.
D: How do you think he got out?
B: I let him go.
D: It's better to be free, right?
B: It's better for him. Actually, he was driving me crazy.
D: Good night.
D: Creasy?
B: Hmm?
D: What's a concubine? 
B: Why do you ask?
D: It's in my history book. 
B: Oh.
D: it's like a wife, right?
B: Yeah. Yes, uh, can I see that? Kind of a wife.
D: Right there. But the emperor of China had 1.000 of them.
B: Uh, okay, like nowadays in-in the West, they have one husband for one wife. But in the olden time cultures, they had, uh, you know, different uh, different rules. Why, you feel sorry for the husband?
D: Yeah. Can you imagine my mom multiplied by a thousand? Greasy, you're smiling.
B: What?
D: You were smiling.
B: No, I'm not.
D: You were.
B: No, I was not.
D: You're not now, but you were.
B: You were smiling. I wasn't. 
D: You were.
B: When?
D: Like five seconds ago.
B: I'm not smiling.
D: A second ago you were.
B: You said five seconds ago. Now that's six. Six seconds ago I wasn't smiling.
D: Ten seconds ago.
B: Ten seconds ago I was smiling. Okay, in the next 10 seconds, let's see who smiles first. You smiled already. See? You did.
D: Mmm! Yeah, you
B: No, that wasn't a...That was a smirk. That's not a smile. A smirk is different. They both start with “S”, but they're not the same. Do your homework.
D: You were.
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